Kathleen McDonald

To My Beloved, My Beloved Mine

 

 

I had known Kathleen for over twenty and in 1997 this was the beginning of our lives as a married couple as we we're the best of friends. This blog is not a blame who's who and why, but instead a tribute to my late wife Kathleen Fatima whom I dearly Love still. She passed away in her sleep October 3rd. 2012 and she was found by out only son Ali, for no greater gift was our son a blessing and most loved son. We Thanked ALLAH for his birth back in (1998) and we call him our "Miracle baby" because he was dying in her body but her OB/GYN insisted she have a stress test out of the blue and had to have an emergency "C- Section" and our son Ali was saved although she endured the suffering of the surgery for many months and together we cried in both joy but also in agony as she truly suffered from the operation. But who was this marvelous woman whom I loved and dearly love even this day? She was born to a family that was not at all conventional and their practices were by her definition a bad experience she is glad she had survived, Yes she forgave them all as she was suppose to but there are other reasons I will get into later. So when we finally spoke to each other she shined on me and my soul unlike all those who were nothing but liars. Kathleen as known and remembered in life was as described by many who knew her as the woman who was all smiles and the best person to have been known. But not all of this was true due to the traumatic life she has endured and lived prior to Us knowing each other, sure she wore a constant smile but it was not always because her heart was filled with joy because it wasn't for she held and concealed her pain behind a mask. The pain she carried was the same pain that haunted her day and night about what she endured in her childhood. Now about her childhood and I speak of this lightly as to not to cause any reputation damages to her siblings but she had an awful life right from the start with having to mother her own siblings, meaning she raised and was forced to become a mother as a child for her younger siblings due to her mothers inability to be a proper mother so Kathleen carried her mothers burden and raised her siblings. There is so much pain and details I will not speak of for several reasons but if you feel guilty, if you are wondering who you need simply look into a mirror to find those guilty among you in the family. Onward now to her forced belief system or faith from which none among her siblings had choice, only the illusion of a choice. Kathleen attended Catholic school in Christian Hill in Lowell, Massachusetts which she loved so much because of her thirst for love and kindness could be found. Kathleen was not convinced though that being a Catholic was the real answer as this faith only half filled her cup yet she found comfort in this religion because as she put it, "I knew G-D was listening and watching over me everyday." The illusion of choice by definition is meant by that she had no chance ever to make her own mind up as how she wanted to Love G-D, no it was forced as in most cases forced upon the children that their way, that being the parents of Kathleen and family is that worshipping and bowing down to graven images was the way to Love G-D, Leviticus 26 - "Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the Lord your God." Yet as she knew and I knew ALLAH forbid this so by me saying this about her being forced is because she always told me, "No, this way of the Catholics and Christians is wrong and I never like their views and religion or how they love G-D because there is only one G-D worthy of my Love and he is ALLAH." Awe such a beautiful and intelligent woman was my wife for ALLAH blessed Us with each other in great abundance of Love always.

So let me take you back to the year 1993 when she and I were friends and neighbors. She was at that time with this man, named Frank who was a evil man. He beast her constantly yet would not at that time divulge this information to me. Later on though I asked her about him she revealed to me what he had been doing to her and I asked, "If not me and my kinsman why didn't your brothers whom you say are so tough aid you when you needed them?" Her reply was swift and without hesitation, her eye's filled with tears and she was falling apart emotionally as she started speaking in a trembled voice..."I didn't because my brothers hate me." I had been saddened that not one was man enough to stand up and deliver their sister from arms way but I assured her that I was her Knight and that no man would ever harm her again. Yes she was hurt but not by a man but instead her family who turned their backs to her not just on this occasion but all through out her life. I had told her that she had no need for her family if her family did not have love for her because my love was indeed greater than theirs. She and I remained friends even while I ran around the country creating and designing new and up coming fashion designs I did this because her unknowing and benevolent family who were to busy consumed on themselves cared not for her, save for the will and desire of the eldest sister. In 1994' I left do do a huge contact in Manhattan but also had to make appearances in Los Angeles, San Antonio, and San Francisco for my yahoo world of fashion I returned to her in 1997 and asked her for her hand in marriage and she accepted without hesitation, and we married November 21, in that same year. On April 16Th 1998 I told her she was pregnant and she said, "No impossible, I cannot get pregnant your wrong!" I only laughed as I went to the pharmacy to purchase not one but two pregnancy tests and would you know it we found out we we're pregnant, yeah! So onward we went through what it was like for me this being my first baby, yet it was I who suffered and what I mean by that is that I hungered all night for strange and bizarre foods only to end up in the bathroom vomiting all day and night. Oh laugh but it was tough on me and yes Kathleen loved seeing me suffer for her and it was my honor for she brought to this world only one child worthy of her love and that was our son, Nickolas. Yes she had another son whom the entire family detests and would rather see him as is is, "Lost in the perils of his own demise." As for her daughter well I had known personally her father and he was a good man and he passed away young but I had told him this, "should anything happen to him in this life I would treat and care for her as if she was my own." But Kathleen was all to right, she told me all she cares for is herself alone. Not her son nor daughter (names with held) didn't even show up for Kathleen's wake or funeral but Nickolas and I did, for she had no one is this world but Us and I wait for the hour of my own death so that we may once again embrace in eternal love.

Nickolas was born and raised without the poisonous ill fated religions of the world, but Kathleen said to me when he was born she said she wanted him to be a Christian and be baptized as soon as possible. The years came and went and O asked why it is taking so long for this so called baptism to take place? She replied, "Well it costs money and I want my whole family their and we need to pay..." I shouted, "What pay? Your G-D wants money I laughed and let me guess you want to buy crosses and saints to adorn his room to what, protect him I continued to laugh." Stop Joe this is all I know and this is what I was brought up as so please stop, ok? Ok honey we will wait but years came and passed and there never seemed to be enough money to buy a Catholic G-D's love (ha-ha) so one day to my surprise and to Kathleen's Nickolas said at age (8) Mommy I want to love G-D but not your way, no I want to love G-D the right way. Now me and Kathleen were shocked to hear this child talk of such things that is suppose to be reserved for the adults to decide but at age (8) he said, "No I do not want to be a Catholic or Christian, no he touted, I want to be a Muslim. Now the first and only reaction from Kathleen was, "Ok Nickolas fine if you want to be a Muslim you can be." In 2008 our son said the Shahada and was given a Islamic name which is Ali and much to Ali and myself Kathleen stood up and said, "I have been called for their is No G-D but ALLAH and he has no companion. She then said the Shahada and was given the name Fatima, her face glowed like the brightest star in the heavens and she began to cry, no not because she was grieving but as she said, "I cry because now I am able to see the truth now and know in my heart I was misled by the world's religions and by my family, may ALLAH forgive them and have mercy upon them, Insha'ALLAH.

Alhamdulillah! I shouted and now we are all one and Muslims. Finally I had realized why we met, people can think what they will but there are no coincidences in life, for ALLAH brought me and my wife Kathleen to each other and I Thank ALLAH everyday that he called her to our faith. When we all returned home she took the cross once belonging to her sister down, she put her King James Bible and all false idols and false religious items and in a box and stored it all away, in their place and upon her bed was the Holy Qur'an and in every room was a Holy Qur'an and we lived as true Shia Muslims. I being the man of this house was like the Imam and I taught them both that which was right and that which was false and taught them both the meaning of Ahlul Bayt and about Ithnā‘ashariyyah which we adopted as our leadership in Islam. We were a happy, loving, nurturing family filled with love and respect but her body was weak and sickly and we knew that ALLAH would take her one day soon, this we were sure of but on the night she died she called Ali to her bed and asked him to pray with him and also saying, "La illah illa Allah." Then she went to sleep never to awake in this world but to open her eye's in Paradise and made anew with laughter and love one's who did actually make it to Paradise and for those who didn't I am sure she prays for them as I do for the world is truly blinded by the works of the Jinn and the Jinn loves all those who bow down to idols and I say this, "May ALLAH aid those who he has chosen to see and known what we know and forgive them all for their lies, liars, adulteries, fornication's and blasphemies, Insha'ALLAH. I Thank ALLAH for my life married to Kathleen and helping her see the truth before her death. We were married for fifteen years, ten months, and three days for ALLAH I Thank and praise for making and keeping our lives filled with love and for ALLAH's greatest gift to us our son Ali who was the last to see her alive in this world, for ALLAH made for them a time to say her last words of forgiveness with the only son or child she loved and knew he was the one who is the best among them all, Oh Thank you ALLAH for this.